The good thing about having an older brother who is much older than I am is that he has more life experiences than I do. The bad part is that I feel like I have another person parenting me…

Like most teenagers, I was pretty rebellious when my brother was trying to tell me what to do.

“You must learn to be more considerate with everyone’s needs. You can’t just crank up the TV while I’m sleeping. You need to pay more attention!” as my brother scolded at me.

I did not appreciate his tone of voice and I automatically went into a defending mode.

I would say, “You have your own issues too! Fix your own damn issues first before trying to fix mine.”

It was this constant back and forth bickering about really small things that turned into big problems with shouting matches – he who yelled the loudest wins.

Reflecting back, I realized that I was insecure. I would have taken his feedback as a complement if I was self loving. Yes, he yelled at me. His tone of voice could have been better. However if he didn’t care about me as a brother, he wouldn’t have said anything at all. He could have careless and told me to go take a hike.

He cared so much about me that he is trying to teach me about respecting others. More important, it was about respecting myself.

Instead, I just pointed fingers right back at him trying to point out his faults.

If I respected myself, I would have said to him, ”Thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate it. I don’t’ like your tone, but I know you care about me and that is why you said those things. You wanted me to be a better person.”

The truth is that we all have faults. That makes us human.

I have learned that it is the imperfection that makes us perfect.

It is accepting whom we are, truly accepting ourselves that make us complete.

It is what we perceive as “Self Worth.”

When we are complete, we no longer need to defend ourselves like a porcupine under attack, sting the people who love us.

When we are complete, we can offer our love and joy to others instead of hate and anger.

I want to take a moment to send gratitude and appreciation to my brother for caring about me and teaching me all these years.

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Live.Love.Journey!

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